Tumbling

Recently, I mastered my round-off, back handspring.  Tonight, I got a round-off, double- two back handsprings in a row.  As fun and exhilarating as it was, after doing multiple passes (the gymnastics term for a tumbling sequence), I still found myself giving myself a pep talk before starting the run.  I found myself especially in need of a psych-out cheer when attempting passes away from the comfort of the spring floor and  on the not so spring-y mats for practice or the rubber-based track.

This seems to be something pretty elementary when encountering ALL hard things in life.  No matter how many times I have told myself that applying to grad schools will be a breeze, I still feel the anxiety of how much work is yet to be done and the fact that results are not guaranteed compounds these feelings even more. Trying to find how to balance a long term, long distance relationship with no regularities or guarantees has been feeling rather similar.  I can do this!  We done this for so long... we know we can make it!  Why do I find myself saying this in my head over and over and over again?  When will I accept what I am continually reminding myself?

A good friend told me that I need to find strength in myself to do just that.  I also think I need to lean more on God.  Its hard to remember to give Him some time and enjoy what you have in front of you.  Another friend told me that you have to life in the moment you are in or you are never be happy.  SO TRUE!  We are gifted with so many moments- expected and unexpected... and we will miss half of them if we just wait for the expected.

God,  Please help me to await the unexpected moments.  Help me to remember to spend time with You and know that You have created me with so much strength to stand on my own.  Thank you for my amazing tumbling skills and the courage to dive, head first and backwards, towards the ground.  Be with me this week when I'm struggling... and when I am celebrating!

Control

Complete control is something pretty hard to gain- especially in context of your overall life.  I have noticed recently that I can judge how in control of my life I feel by the degree of clean my room is in.  Let me explain this in a bit more detail.  My room is typically crazy messy- things everywhere, can't find half my things without spending time looking.  I don't really bother to place things in very specific places because, well, thats just the way I am most of the time.  But when my life starts feeling really out of control and I can't change it or I get super stressed and need to take a break, I clean.  I do the one thing I hate to do at my lowest, most aggravated point and it helps me to find a balance and calm again.  Funny how that works.

Today in my devotional, I read about perfection.  How God calls us to be perfect but we can't (obviously) and that is where Jesus comes in.  The devotional didn't stop there, however.  It commented on that there are a lot of times when we feel like we can't deal with what we have been given and that we probably should just give up.  In these times of "suck", however, we know that God will equip us with what we need to make it through the horrible times and come out on the other side a whole lot stronger.  God gives us a mess through the good times so we have something to clean (therapeutically) when we are going through a hard time.  He stands by us when we doubt that we can continue on the path we find ourselves on.  It's by God's grace through Jesus that we can make it through what seems impossibly difficult.

"As you therefore have received Christ Jesus the Lord, continue to life your lives in Him, rooted and built up in Him, and established in faith, just as your were taught, abounding in thanksgiving."  Colossians 2:6

Thank you, God, for being our candle in the dark and the light of the world.  Thank you for walking with us.  Help me to be reminded of your presence with me when life feels very heavy.  Amen